|—||T.B. LaBerge // Things I’m Still Learning at 25 (via tblaberge)|
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
|—||Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via thewilddreamcatcher)|
don’t ever let this die
i just watched this 20 times in a row..
another day, another moment where I can’t not reblog this
cultural appropriation 101
Seriously guys, wearing a war bonnet without having to suffer blood, sweat and tears for it is so disrespectful to all the servicemen who have sacrificed their lives for this country.
Finally someone stands up for my people and puts it into words that i couldn’t. Thank you!!!
I love the smell of cultural sensitivity education in the morning.
Those pics are so sweet. <3
I genuinely didn’t know this thank you for educating me
Wow I get it now.
and this is how you properly educate people about why certain things are appropriating a culture.
im not sure whats happening but i like it alot
Reblogging for science
grown. ass. men.
you scared she gonna strike out yr precious baby boy? OH TOO LATE.
they were doing a special on her on one of the news channels at the gym. i didnt have the headphones so i couldnt hear the story, but one of the photos they showed was of a little girl in the crowd holding up a sign that said “I want to throw like a girl.” For every pathetic, insecure grown man who is threatened by this amazingly talented girl, hopefully there is another little girl who is inspired. But that she has to put up wit this kind of abuse even though she is OBJECTIVELY the best pitcher in the league right now and can throw a ball SEVENTY MILES PER HOUR is absolutely uncalled for. She is truly phenomenal, and those dads can all go eat shit and live